


i won't be the one to let you go

by fleetofstars (ghostdude101)



Category: Free!
Genre: Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-17 18:31:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2319218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostdude101/pseuds/fleetofstars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>I’m going to Australia,</i> he says, and you can feel your breath catch in your throat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i won't be the one to let you go

_I’m going to Australia,_ he says, and you can feel your breath catch in your throat. You hear some of his next words, _a week_ and _Haru_ , but the rest blurs past you, swept away by the tide.

The world tilts, just for a moment, and you’re twelve again, hearing him say those words for the first time. You were so young then, young and naive and stupid, and you’d thought that he’d be there forever. That it would be you and him, no matter what. So you had let him go without a word - because anything that puts that big of a smile on his face is must be a good thing, right - only a fistbump and a _see you later_ , and you lost him for five years.

There’s an ache clawing at your chest, now, convinced that the same is going to happen this time. He’s going away and he’s going to find something better and he’s not alone this time, he has Nanase - why would he come back then. Rationally, you know it’s not going to happen, Rin’s not just going to leave. He has Nationals coming up, he has a team here counting on him, he has more to tie him here than just _you_ , but the voices in your head refuse to go away.

Rin’s looking at you strangely now, and you realise that you haven’t answered him yet, but no words seem to come to mind except _I just got you back,_ but that’s not what you’re supposed to say. You know you’re selfish and greedy because you want to keep him close, always, near to you where you can touch him and hear him and tell yourself that he’s here, he’s real, he didn’t just disappear when he stopped writing to you. You know he deserves more, he deserves the whole _world_ , but you had thought that you would get to keep him for a while longer.

You have the absurd desire to catch his arm and ask him to stay, but you can’t do that either. So you muster up the best smile you can and hope that it’s not cracked at the edges, and you wish him a safe trip. He doesn’t notice your lapse, you _hope_ he doesn’t notice it, but he’s always known you all too well, after all.

“Sousuke,” he says. His expression gets soft and fond, in a way you don’t think you’ll ever get tired of seeing, and he steps close. “It’s only a week.”

A week. A week and almost seven thousand kilometres from here to Australia. That is something you know, because you had looked it up once, after his letters had stopped coming and you were feeling so lonely you couldn’t take it anymore. And if you’d once contemplated whether you could swim the distance, well, it’s just another thing Rin’s never going to find out.

“I know,” you reply, but that really doesn’t make it any better. 

Rin sighs, and gets even closer, until you’re almost chest to chest, and your heart is beating so hard you think he can hear it.

“I was going to do this after I came back,” he says, and you’re too busy being relieved at the words - _he’s coming back_ \- to notice that he is leaning close and tilting his head until his lips are pressed to yours.

You freeze there for a moment, because you’ve imagined this, of course you have, being in such close quarters with Rin after all this time is a heady thing, but this is better, this is _so much better_ than anything you could’ve imagined that you’re left floundering for a reaction. 

You feel him about to pull back, and that’s what spurs you into action. You move, cupping Rin’s head with one hand and pulling him closer, preventing him from moving away and deepening the kiss. It’s still chaste and close-mouthed, but this is the best you’ve felt in a while and you’re reluctant to let him go.

Rin pulls away first, but not too far, and when he laughs, you can feel his breath against your lips. It’s an addicting thing, kissing him, so you chase after those soft lips and press light, fluttering kisses against them until his eyes close and his arms wrap around your shoulder, holding you close.

His head tips down and he presses a kiss to your injured shoulder, before leaning against the other one. You can see that the tips of his ears are red, clashing with his hair, and you can’t help the fond laugh from escaping your lips. He’s always so adorable, your Rin, even if he’d never in a million years admit to it.

“This is why I was going to wait until I got back, you know,” he grumbles, but he has a smile he can’t hide. “I knew I wouldn’t want to stop doing this.” Another kiss, this one longer and deeper than the others, his hand at your jaw guiding your movements.

You’re both a little breathless when you pull away this time. 

“It’s alright,” you say, pressing your forehead against his. “I’ll be waiting, when you come back,” and that might be the truest thing you’ve ever said.


End file.
